Twitter Can Be Extremely Frustrating
But I keep using it — Laying in bed feeling half-dead I’m a knucklehead so I’ll get on Twitter. What a bad idea worse than gonorrhea a crap app, diarrhea I’m feeling bitter. Too many opinions from insane minions “I hate Virginians” says the babysitter. It’s good for connections bad for corrections filled with projections it’s verbal litter…
I’m Taking You To Court!
I don’t care who you are — Why did you touch my slick new hairdo? I can’t believe this I’m going to sue! You think that I lie? How dare you mock! I’ll send my lawyers a legal flock. The date is set I’ll see you next week where I’ll crush your soul and make you squeak. …
No Need to Fear, At Least Your Newborn is Here!
Now give us $500,000 — I know the last twelve hours have been painful and exhausting, but you did it! Your beautiful baby boy is safe and healthy. He’s so precious. Soak it in, this is as good as life gets. Now that you’ve soaked it in, I should inform you that you owe us…
Submit to Darkish Humor
If you’d like to become a writer for Darkish humor, simply comment on this post and you will be added! Here are the guidelines: We are looking for funny pieces of satire, fiction, poetry, etc. with a touch of darkness to them Use common sense in determining what is over the line. Our goal is not to offend people, but rather to use unpleasant experiences or ideas, skepticism, or cynicism as a way to elevate jokes.
If you’d like to become a writer for Darkish humor, simply comment on this post and you will be added! Here are the guidelines:
- We are looking for funny pieces of satire, fiction, poetry, etc. with a touch of darkness to them
- Use common sense in determining what is over the line. Our goal is not to offend people, but rather to use unpleasant experiences or ideas, skepticism, or cynicism as a way to elevate jokes.
- If we think it is a funny piece of dark humor, it will be added. Edits and/or suggestions might be made or requested, which I’m sure you’re used to.
- All we ask is that you have a title and subtitle. and solid grammar and speling.
We try to respond within a few days. Happy Writing!
Dearest Mother, I am a Disappointment
Sorry about that — Dearest mother, I am truly grateful for your note. The wisdom you provide via your letters is always appreciate despite rarely being accepted. In your latest memorandum, you suggested I show kindness and respect to whom used to be dear my friend, but is now a lost soul, Stevie. How…
5 Things You Didn’t Know Were Edible
So eat them — Discovery takes boldness, courage, and a willingness to put something in your mouth that could be disgusting — Payton Burdette Luffas Not only are luffas safe to eat, but they’re also delicious! Seasoned with an assortment of body washes and dead skin, your luffa will actually taste just like you. Luffas…
My Sticky Notes
I need them back — I stuck them on my desk I stuck them on my chair I stuck them in my hair I stuck them everywhere! I loved their design they felt super sleek! their use so unique to them, I am weak. When my wife left me it was those notes, she took that little…